Memestar ruby
by Deprived insanity
Summary: Some Canadian dude bites it in the cold Canadian after winter-ish, only to get reincarnated as ruby, naturally he takes the opportunity to spew memes every chance he gets. also go read starmeme yang #goodtimeswritingaficwithfriends
1. the red meme rises

**Greetings my dudes welcome to my first fanfic yada yada yada you know the drill**

 **But um you know what they about it being painful the first time.. it worrys me a little.. so if possible please be gentle**

 _ **what in the name of cthulu**_ thought

"BUT IT WAS ME! DIO" speach duh

* * *

Our story begins in our world during winter, Canadian winter that is "Fuck this cold" our main charcter said to himself "it's january why is it still so snowy" he continued to talk to himself like a schycopath "whu-fuck" then without warning he sliped on some ice and instantly snaped his neck, everyone knew this would happen eventually, as he trips on his way to school everyday without fail... stupid clumsy asshole, anyways unlike most people who bite the dust, he was given a second chance for some reason

-his pov-

 _ **Ouch ouch what the hell... oh no am i blind mother fuc**_ -"look she's moving, how cute" the sudden voice caused him to temporarily stop and calmly analys the situation _**That's the voice a loving parent would use when talking about thier newborn... where in the hell am I?**_ in an attempt to understand the current situation he tried speaking

"guh blu eh" _**no okay i'm sorry but what**_

"Look tai, she spoke" instead of getting answers he got more questions _**Okay fuck it let's try seeing, come on willpower don't fail me now**_ He would regret this in a moment _**A gaint woman... ho-kay**_ "hello, i'm your mom" _**Fucking what**_ As his new reality encroached on his mind, he passed out due to the intense processing his infant mind attempted _**Oh what is this, am i dying now... okay... bye giant lady**_

* * *

 **you can probably tell but i didn't proof read this**

 **peace peace**


	2. the CORECT chaper wowifukedup

**hoooooly shiiiiit people like my story?**

 **i just checked my email today...reviews AND follows well hot damn i honestly expected to be ignored... well fuck guess i can't use that as an exuse to not update anymore**

 **enjoy a new chapter**

* * *

it had been about 16 years since our main charcter was reborn, and they were kinda annoyed _**fuckin stupid dickhead banditos... still not here huh**_ the dumass for some reason expecting their new life to flow the same way as the story in which it originated has been loitering around a certin dust store for some time now

 _ **i wish those assholes would just show up already i mean how am i supposed to make memes of team rwby if it dosn't exsist**_ apparently they beleived memes were more important than the other possible futures they could enjoy

 _ **now that i think of it i wonder who i should date...**_ their nonsensical thoughts of carpet eating distracted them from the task at hand... not getting robbed

the front door of the store opened and in walked some fly ass dudes "do you have any idea how hard it is to find a dust shop open this late" the mafioso said as his subbordunate raised a gun made of what looks like tron, to the store clerks head

"Please just take my lien and leave" the old man patheticaly begged, probably thinking about how no one will spoil little timmy if he dies

"sh sh sh shh calm down we're not here for your money" the man said in a smooth silky tone most likley meant to dissuade the mans worry "grab the dust" he imediatly jumped into a bored tone, as if he had done this many times that night alone and just wanted to go home and penetrate a certin girl made of ice-cream (extra creamy if catch my drift)

one of the henchmen placed a case on the counter top and preceided to open it. Inside the case was what opeared to be ten cylinders each a jurasic park referance, him and two other host club boys grabbed one of the cylinders and preceided to the Pneumatic tubes on the wall. A fourth boy band member placed another case on the counter, this one was opened towards the clerk "burn. uncut" he breifly showed us he has a voice actor by politeily asking the old man what kind of crystals he would like to purcase today

one of the men was about to plug the DASD into one of the mail shoots but was distracted by a little tiny girl. thinking fast he whipped out what appered to be a cleaver falchion, arming himeself in preperation of the danger a little girl can pose " alright kid put your hands where i can see em" he requested of the girl. realizing she couldn't hear him, he approached the pelvis sized girl

our protagonist blissfuly ignorant of the hentai inspiration's encroachment continued thinking their odd thoughts _**i guess it doesn't really have to be a girl though does it, i mean jaune and ruby was a ship for a while weren't they? ah but that does raise the question, am i (a previous male) ready to be penetrated? hmmm i'll have to consider if this route is a possiblity. i guess until then i'll just stick with-**_ their musings were cut short by the background enemy tapping on their sholders " whas up" they said as they turned around " ho damn, nice threads my nigga how much 'll it cost me to get you in my pants" the man being surprisingly composed for the question asked of him replied

"put your hands in the air" to which the smol girl replied

"oh damn no first base? going a bit fast there bud" the man stumbled a little at this one

"w-wha no i didn't mean like that, i-i meant-" before he could finish explaining that he was robbing her and not raping her, the young girl threw the man showing an impressive amount of strength for her tiny frame

Roman minding his own buisnes staring at a crystal for some reason, was distracted briefly when one of his thugs went flying past him, not wanting deal with this he nodded his head in the direction he came from and precieded to comtinue staring at the crystal probably pondering on some delicious multicoloured hips

* * *

 **and that's all for now cus i'm sick**


	3. the first fight my bros

**heeeeey hows it goin? just here to update again. Hm? what's that? whaaat psh no this has nothing to do with me taking 3 monthes to make a new chapter, of course not hah hah hah**

 **oh yeah one more thing... the ice-cream lady jokes are jokes (extra creamy) please do not take the roman x neo ship jokes seriesly okay? i'm gonna say this right now so no one asks anymore okay? i view neo and roman's relationship as more of a father daughter kinda thing**

 **anyways begin**

* * *

the sound of glass shattering echoed through the street followed by "oh hell yeah! now this is what i call riding a man!" the owner of the voice was what appered to be a small girl "riding a man" as she eloquently put it out of a shop's window

the man hit the ground with a thud probably shattering his spinal cord due to the extra weight exerting a larger amount of force that it's used to. "gaaa~" the man groaned softly as he turned his head to the left, revealing that miraculously enough he'll still be able to walk in his life time

the young girl stood up from the crouch she used to lessen the force sent to her knees and after taking something off her back, unfolded it to reveal a large pair scissors after which she turned off her headphones causing the space dandy ost to stop filling the now silent empty streets "so-" and with a final floursh of the probably extreamly hard to use scissors she beckoned the 1900's style victims forward in the most over used ku-fu movie way possible "who wants to scissor with me first" she gets a non-existent homerun before leaving the males to briefly stare

"okayyy... get her" the leader of the bunch seemed to regain his composure and issued an order to his minions causing them to spring into action and whip out their falchions preparing to rush the girl however before they could fully reach her

"before you guys start agressing me i have a correction to make... i ain't no girl. i sexually identify as an Apache attack helicopter" they faultered a bit at her statement allowing the girl to have more wriggle room for her initiative roll

"guh" the robbers soon learned how the girl fought with the massive weapon when she threw herself at one of them hitting him square in the chest. of course this is the only way she could fight with large metal blades, as they were too big to swing normaly she used a combination of muscle strength and gravity to launch herself and the pointy cutting utensil she would then make use of the muscles required to wield such heavy weapon, her brains, and a small amount of luck to maneuver in the air

"ohh i gotta say i feels great being on top" the girl said as she temporarily rested her scissors on the mans shoulders as he fell. before he could hit the ground however, she pushed herself off of him and performed a spin in the air whilst closing the gardening tool, the spin provided by the purchase her legs got on the first bandit caused her to become a spining bonebreaker

the man she was heading to managed to hold up his blade in preperation of blocking the attack however "agh" the sheer force exerted on his weapon due to the mighty weight of the danger to running children was so great that no amount of aura could block it "oof" which left his guard open for the dropkick which followed

"why did you think that would work..like..at all" the girl commented as she finally stopped being a beyblade and landed on the ground

"rahh!" the closest theif, noticing the time it would take her to counter with her giant weapon swung at her only to be punched directly in the jaw by a fist srong enough to lift the massive blades of her weapon causing him to instantaneously hit the ground

she shook her hand and hissed breifly signifying that the pain from the hit wasn't one sided, before dpeaking to man now lying on the floor "what did ya think i would only use my scissors? of course not that would be dumb" the fist is faster than most weapons

"stop making fun of us!" one of the men further away them the others, got annoyed by the girls remarks and raised a gun to the girl and started firing. the scissors seemed to double as a shield for the bullets and when he looked down to reload she striked

"counter offer" she said as she once again threw herself into a man "become my bottom bitch boy" and with that the last of the cannon fodder was knocked unconscious

* * *

 **and we done my homies see you later and tell me what you think**


	4. Thx for the nazi regime FictionPress

**sah dudes**

 **so now that i have some semi time (fuk school am i rite) to not rush this trainwreck**

 **let's do that thing that literally everyone who writes a fanfic does**

 **answer some dope ass questions awwwwww yeeeaaaahhhh**

 **watch?v=BlyoEi8ggss**

 **anyways let's start before i hang myself**

* * *

One of romans goons landed next to his foot" you were worth every cent.. truly you were" he stated in dissapointment whilest looking at the fallen man, before redirecting his gaze to the "helicopter" infront of him with annoyance

"what you want between these legs too?" she chuckled briefly at her own joke

the man sighed " well miss Apache" he paused momentarily as he removed the cigar from his mouth "i think we can all say it's been an eventful evening" the man took a moment to crush the cigar with his cane "and as much as i'd love to stick around" he raised his cane " i'm afraid this is where we part ways"

 _ **i remember this**_ after very narrowly dodging the projectile she used her momentumto huck her scissors at the ladder he would use to get away "wha-" he briefly stumbled as the far too big blades flew past him, blocking off the ladder slightly

"hah!" he cuntinued climbing nearly unaffected by the sad ecuse of a blockage "sheit!" _**i have to fucking climb up that don't i?**_ "son of a loose boypuss" she lamentanted over the fact that she had to climb up all that ladder

* * *

"hah hii huu" she panted as she finished climbing the ladder of depression "maybe the helicopter.. maybe it's made of chocolate" she still managed to bring in a good good meme though

"..." it seems the fight had ended and the only thing still on the rooftop was a huntress

"damnit don't tell me i was too slow" she continued to ignore the hunteress staring at her

"ahem"in an atempt to be noteced she coughed at hte younger girl

"yea?" she briefly showed the adult that she could see her

"come with me"

"sure whaever"

* * *

"i hope you realize that your actions today will not be taken lightly young lady, you put yourself and others in danger" they were now in a small dark room

"pfft, yeah right i saved those people"

"by breaking their bones?"

"well they won't be comiting many crimes anymore now will they?"

"... you need to be tought some serious responsability"

"what you want play teacher with me? becausae lookin at those hips i see plenty of petetial"

"...do you even understand what you're saying?" the secritary said in disbeleafy at the girls implication

"oh baby do i ever" she gave a little smirk at that

"*sigh* kids these days" the adult whispered under her breath

at that the door opened "i'll take it from here Glynda" the new entry stated to his coluege

"well hey there Mr . Emerald palace" the youngest of the group joked

"greetings to you as well" the older gentleman greeted the youngest of the group whilst placeing some cookies on the table

"oh fuck yea"the girl said as she grabbed at the cookies "get my mouth you tasty, warm, chocolatey sluts"she bit into one of them... the chips were melted "oh you dirty whore, just like that"

* * *

 **I feel i need to say this now**

 **I intend to do the entire story of Rwby eventually**

 **If I'm not updating it's because I'm busy af**

 **Peace peace**


	5. exactly a month since the last one

**it's been a whole month goddamn**

* * *

"mmm" she moaned in delight "you're perfect darling" she of course was saying this to the cookie she slowly and sensiualy ate in front of the two onlookers

"what is wrong with this girl?" glynda asked her boss

"i guarintee she only does this infront of other people" ozpin gave a reasuring look at glynda

"you're god damn right" the youngest suddenly joined in the conversation, while doing a terrible impression of heiznberg, all though half the fault of that can be placed on her small feminine body

"why do it at all though?" glynda whispered to ozpin likly in an attempt to not be over heard again

"it fuckin funny is why"the girl once agin ignored the fact that she wasn't meant to be heard

"we actualy have some questions to ask you, you know" ozpin halted the current conversation in opes of actually leaving soon

"alright then, shoot kid" at this she leaned back her chair and did a gun hand while smirking

"is this you?" ozpin pulled up a screen which showed ruby fighting the thugs, he of course knew the answer but still asked anyway

"ye" she gave the minimal attention and effort required in aswering ozpins question

"and where did a girl like you learn to do this?" he questioned

"self taught baby" she barely answered while playing with her nails

"you taught yourself to do this?" ozpin was more surprised than anything

and at this point glynda joined in "how did you do that at your age?"

"honestly luck"

"..."the adults were surprised

"how old are you?"glynda asked

"15 why?" the author corrected their mistake without going back and fixing it

ozpin looked concerned "...why have you trained to this level at your age?"

this time ruby's full attention was on the man in front of her "to become a huntress" she looked at him seriously "i'm gonna go to your school, and i'm gonna be prepared"

ozpin looked surprised at her answer "you wish to come to my school? why?" he asked

she leaned forward a bit".. honestly" ozpin leaned in as well "fuck it right? what else am i gonna do" she trew her chair back and laughed "he he he" which ceased when she flubed the distance an her chair fell to the floor "ah!" she a cute squeal before smashing her head into the ground "fuck fuck fuck ow"

"this a waste of our time professor ozpin" glynda said dissapointed in the girl in front of them

"okay, you can come to my school" ozpin ignored glynda

"yay!"

"what?"

"you may go home now ruby"

the girl sprung up off the ground "cheers mate" she breifly said before exiting at a brisk pace

* * *

the two teachers were alone now

"ozpin why did you accept her?" glynda questioned her imployer

" ... wouldn't you agree that the students of this year are far too serious?"

"what are you-" before she could ask he explained himself

"the children should still be what they are at this age" he stopped to take a sip of his drink"don't you think?" and with that he left

"..." a sigh escaped in the nearly empty room "this is gonna be a fun year" she said sarcasticaly before leaving the room

* * *

 **i have definantly not been putting this off in favor of other things**

 **i am not lazy**


	6. a wild awful person appeared

**volume 5 comes october 14**

 **awesome! that means i don't have worry about acedentaly beating them to the conclusion ha ha ha... this fic is gonna be done in how many years i wonder? the english there bugs me but i'm not going to fix it**

 **with further ado let's get down to the poorly writen adventure i call my- wait actually there's more... rn i'm listen to the rwby ost.. which is wierd for me cus i have only heard the songs in the episode they are from... well excluding i may fall cus thaat shit be lit fam**

 **weird right?**

 **anyways as death would say "let's roll up our sleeves and get to work"**

* * *

in dark room somewhere

"those fools" a sinister shadow loomed "they really thought they could get away with it... didn't they?" it apears this person was angry

the back of a metal chair blocked their short visage "i will find you.. ruby" this new character seemed to have somekind of beef with our protagonist "i will have my revenge for what you did" they promised to the empty room "how could you... leave me alone on this table!" IT WAS THE COOKIES ALL ALONG! HOLY SHIT! THIS IS THE BIGGEST TWIST SINCE THE 2017 ELECTION

It apears our main antagonist has revealed themselves

"i promise pain unto thee" the cookies swore revenge, i mean who could blame them? they were left on the table to slowly grow older and less edtable

it seems that our Ruby was the villan all along what a fucking twisty twast amirite?

* * *

elswhere

the door made a _shoom_ noise when it closed

"what's it like to walk home by yourself in the middle of the night?" ruby asked after entering the dark house her and yang live in

"is it really alone if you're being stalked?" yang asked from behind ruby

which caused ruby to jump forward "JESUS FUCK" ruby whiped around and gave yang a murder glare

"hiii~" yang gave a dopey grin to the young girl "wanna cheeto?" she asked while holding out a bag of doritos

as disgusted as she was with the defacment of the holy snack ruby still responded in the possitive "gib me one plz" she reached out for them "also don't fuckin scare me like that or i'll end up Bobby barrowsing you"

"lol" she did'nt even laugh... just said the letters... torture that's all this is "theses cheetos taste like ass anyway" WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?

as much as ruby wanted to scream at yang for what she said "ah cheers" the bag was thrust into her hands too quick so she opted to instead jam a handful of the best food into her face.. the whole fist went in "so how was the shopping my comrade?"

yang responded in a way that makes ruby wish she didn't have a sister "you're a whore. i can't believe you met glynda, like, omg, like, she's my fav prof, like, y'konw"

jesus stop please "she dosen't even teach you yet" said ruby while trying to contain her pain as much as possible

"like, totes, like i know, but, like, she's the best, like, teacher ever, y'know? like, seriously, this is like, srs bsns, like, don't like, fuck it up" yang... said? while opening the refigurator

the mods added to it started up first a disco ball flooded the room in light blinding ruby she covered her eyes to stop the pain and then the music came in "fuck your exsistence hurts more than a bullet" god awful 90s club music blasted through her soul

"lol" please stop. now that yang had found what she wanted she closed the fride which stoped the disco torture not the music though unfortunatly "so like, my dude, did you like, have fun, like, being a dick?" she took a sip of the rootbeer can as she asked

"oh fuck yea bud" ruby responded as she cracked open a cold one as well "i got to flirt with glynda and eat some cookies" she stopped to take a sip "shit was lit"

yang shruged causing sparly light to spew everywhere "whatever you say brah" the lights was a sidefect of her annoying semblence. which is the ability to control light for anyone wondering

ruby in an attempt to ignore the hurting floped onto the couch "so sup with you fam?" she tried her best not to let yang win "hows the wife hows the kids?"

"fuckin, like, i don't know man, like, fuckin, yeah" yang said as she finaly started to fuck off "fuckin, need some, like, uh, like sleep, y'know?"

the lights and music yang left alone "turn of your gay shit first" ruby called

"Nevvaaaaaah" was the distant responce as yang dissapeared and the music and lights intesifyed before suddenly shutting off

"i will end you!" ruby promised to the nearly gone asshole of a sister

"you deserve this!" in a final act of douchery rainbow light came from yang into the living room before changing to uv and blasting all over rubys body

needless to say... she was not impressed "i wish one of us would die already" she groaned out as she rubbed her eyes "that stupid shit has the same effect as a fucking flashbang"

ruby stayed up for a few more hours watching scarce and pyrocinical before passing out on the couch while snuggling her kizuna ai body pillow

* * *

 **something something busy something something not lazy something something kill me plz**

 **oh also i . imgur / Z7qKBa8 . png i don't blame you... not one bit  
**


	7. oh boy, here i go memeing again

**Hey guys remember that one time i had a fanfic?**

 **Me neither!**

 **But for real though**

 **Sorry that i haven't been updating recently, i assure you i have a good reason**

 **I have a job now, school started up again, i got myself a boyfriend to pound my muffin, I've been writing an actually serious story (which you guys probably won't ever see) also I'm in an extreme amount of pain!**

 **Anyways let's get this done before i decide to do something else**

* * *

It was early in the morning and the only thing that could be heard was the distinct sound of someone yelling through food "MMMMPPPPHHHHHAAAAAA" it was Ruby fucking screaming into her breakfast like a psycho

"Like why are you, like, screaming?" yang was also there

in an attempt to answer the question quickly ruby tried to swallow alll her food "KAGH" she obviously choked... and coughed... and coughed "... just expressing my hatred of your existence you fucking living siesure" totally saved 100% legit my dude

"why do you like, have to like, be like that?" this woman could kill a family with her cringe

"because my only sister tries her best to make my life a living fucking nightmare" valid point indeed

*phone sound*

*other phone sound*

"well well well look at that a reason to not talk to you" * clicky clacky sound* "youve reached the phone of unreconized talent leave a message after the prank fam"

~"hello? is this miss ruby rose?"~

"yeah!"

~"im just calling to inform you that the bullheads to beacon launch in an hour"~

"neat"

~"... enjoy your semester"~

*what are phones?*

"like, who was like, that?"

"a person fuck off"

and so the initiation day of beacon academy #gotgettingstartedbegining (please make that a real tag i will cry)

* * *

ruby and yang barely made it on time... almost entirly due to the fact that the appartment they share is only like a block away

yang was... somewhere on the bullhead while ruby was... sitting on a chair staring out the window which was likely due to the fact that before she was a small adorable MINOR she was a borderline pschitsophrenic with... far too many conditions to count

cue #theforshadowing "in other news this saturdays faunus civil rights protest turned dark when members of the white fang disrupted the ceremony, the once peaceful organization has disrupted-" the extremly out of place woman was cut off by everyones favorite boobed professor

"hello and welcome to beacon, my name is Glynda Goodwitch. You are amoung a privledged few who have received the honour of being selected to attend this prestigious academy-" at this point ruby tuned out... she was never big on speaches

Ruby then precided to think about dinning on some carpets and smashing lips... She may or may not have gotten so focused on these things that she tuned out the entire ride... Nobody has to know about that though

*literally what does door make sound?*

The bullhead the new students were riding landed and students started filing out... well most were at least... "Blough" gross

"what if i tried going for someone unexpected? Like maybe... Uh... Cinder?.. No wait that would be very expected shit" as ruby continued her strange thoughts she happened to forget about one of the most important scenes from episode one

*tripping noise?*

luckily ruby managed to save herself from smashing her face into the concrete... she didn't manage to stop her self from face planting into a pair of breasts though "Hey watch where you're going" dun dun dun it was the mega bitch herself

"well well well if it isnt the abomitable ice bitch herself" oh shit dude nice that's like a solid ten points on christmass holocaust

"W-What? How dare you! Do you even know who i am?" instead of retaliating the new arrival decided to start with the questions

"course i do white supremacy" oh shit a blow right to her pride straight in the family fuck "you sell people dust or some shit right?" oh and she keeps going

"Wha-i-I'll have you know we are far more than just a dust company!" oh man she was triggered... Badly

"listen baby spare me the speech alright" with a simple finger to the lips ruby begun the hunt "a school full of teens doing nothing but studying and killing monsters" ruby lowered her finger and drew closer to Weiss as she spoke "surely that gets unbearable at some point... Right?"

* * *

Weiss was more than a little confused

This random little girl, who probably didn't even belong at Beacon, had started insinuating she would do such a vulgar thing "L-Listen here i have no intention of doing something like that" Weiss stated as she pushed the girl back

The instant her hand met the girls chest "how cruel!" She yelled in a dramatic manor as she leaped back "for my love to have forsaken me so" She cried dramatically as she started walking away

"... Excuse me?" It took Weiss a moment to realise what was happening "... Hold on!" She was angry that someone would go that far for something like this "Did you seriously say all that just so you could get out of saying sorry?!"

"oh shit the cops! quick eat the drugs!" The strange girl screamed as she started to run away

"Hey get back here!" In Weiss's eagerness to catch the girl she forgot about the luggage at her feet "Wah!" And face planted into the cement

* * *

well that was fucking dumb "finna make a book about the stupid shit that happens when im around" ruby spoke to herself somemore... crazy fuck

as if decread by the god of ineptitude ruby once again tripped while not paying atention... And by tripped i meant she slamed her body into another student "again?" she asked out loud

"Are you okay?" asked the man infront of her who turned out to be Jaune

"i am a god" ruby stated as she did the action movie jump up thing off the ground "your chest cannot hurt me"

"Uh... Alright" Jaune was visibly worried for her mental health... I don't blame him "Well uh... I'm Jaune" he reached out his hand waiting for a shake "And you are?"

ruby grabbed his hand "names ruby kid" she violently shook his hand making him stumble "you can call me boss though" she let go and Jaune nearly fell over... how weak?

"Boss?" Jaune questioned "Why boss?"

taking a break from wondering how hard this year would be for Jaune ruby decided she would answer the poor guys question "because one I'm better than you" Jaune deflated a bit "two because i'm gonna make you into a champion"

Jaune looked surprised "Wait what? Why me?" i guess he expected to be the punching bag

"because you got potential my boy" ruby adopted the tone of a friendly grandpa for this one "i see you doing great things in the future" she gave him a smirk and held out her hand "Jaune you could change the world if you tried... be my friend and i'll help you unlock your power"

* * *

 **This thing i do where i don't finish chapters in a reasonable amount of time needs to stop**

 **I hope you enjoyed this years installment of "shitty meme fic 9000"**

 **Peace peace**


	8. Jaune meets his waifu

Salutations my friends! If you're keeping up with starmeme then you probably predicted that this chapter would be coming soon after... Sorry for the wait...

Sorry this chapter took so long to make, final exams are being rude, plus I've been really unmotivated and depressed recently and i have no idea why. And I'm also sick... And I'm also moving... I want to make as many chapters as i can before the one year anniversary, so expect a few more this month, maybe next month too (I'm joking please don't lynch me)

Anyways. I have a twitter now (which is where I'll be responding to reviews) I'm gonna make art and animations soon-ish so i encourage you to come and take a look.

My twitter is DeprivedI feel free to tweet at and/or dm me, I'm willing to be friends with anyone, and i fully intend to reply to everyone that tweets me

Anyways let's get to work

* * *

Jaune had just finished preparing to meet his (hopefully) new friends, aka, cleaning puke off his clothes and hair, and calming himself down.

Jaune was really really hoping that the next person he met would be a normal friendly person he could enjoy beacon with... But instead...

"-be my friend and i'll help you unlock your power" he'd met a crazy person.

"N-No thanks, I think I'll do fine on my own" Despite having no real combat experience and not being a warrior, Jaune could tell at a glance that this person was someone he shouldn't be taught by.

"oof" She yelled in a near perfect imitation of the sound as she leaned back and rested her wrist on her eyes "ah.. How tragic.. i am unable to reach mine love" rather than a hunter, this girl should be an actor.

"L-Love?" Between that guy who tried to beat him up earlier and this girl, Jaune was getting some serious whiplash "Where is all this coming from?" not even the test to get into beacon had been as confusing as this.

"the love of mine life hast left me to this cold unforgiving hell of a- nevermind i'm bored now" Her pose had collapsed and she was no longer making the serious and heartbroken face she had been a moment before.

"..." Unsure of how to talk to somebody so strange and off the rails, Jaune chose his words carefully "... So.. Who are you?" as simple as it was to ask... Jaune felt he would regret meeting her

"the names ruby.. but you can call me xxx_roastmaster_xxx" She turned her head to the side and held her finger to her mouth... If there were a sunset behind her and she had said something cool, Jaune would be fanboying over this girl, and how anime she looked "impressed aren't you?"

"In awe more like" he couldn't tell if Ruby really thought she was cool... Or if she was a parody of herself... If so than this girl was leagues above him in terms of humor "Well.. I'm Jaune... I hope you and i can become good friends" He really did too.

Despite how sporadic and random this girl was.. Her extremely small amount of care about the near death she'll be facing put Jaune at ease, and by god did he need that right now "... ha... ha... ha ha ha" She let out a small chuckle? Maybe he shouldn't have said that...

"Uh.. Did i say something funny?" In hindsight... This girl earned her way into beacon... She could probably tell how weak he is... No wonder she's laughing

"hell yeah you did!" She stopped laughing... In favour of yelling at him.. "most people try their best to ignore me... your innocence is refreshing as hell in all honesty"

"So... You'll be my friend?" that was something he seriously needed right now... Friends are the one thing you could never get enough of

"and to sweaten the deal!" There was a deal? "you get free suck whenev-"

"Excuse me!? F-F-F-Free s-s-s-suck?" She was joking right?

"Bahahaha!" ... Of course she was " you really are innocent" This girl is going to be a serious handful.. "For real though go that way and turn left" wait wha-

"YOU!" Just as she finished talking, another girl showed up and dragged her into a lecture

"i'll meet you in the speaky place my dude!" Ruby yelled as the snow themed girl tried her best to re-educate Ruby

"You seriously need to learn some respect you twerp!" Jaune escaped before he was dragged into anything, and didn't see Ruby for the rest of the day...

* * *

Blake would have normally been more invested in her books than in the students... But after what happened on the ship... And this strange girl assulting everyone with randomly strung together phrases and insults... She couldn't help but look..

"Beacon seems like an... Interesting place to be..." That weird girl caught her interest the most... Someone like that is bound to be remembered as a clown... She'd surely regret these years in the future..

The girl in question had a very... Unique style... Most wore either casual clothes, or the uniform... Some were dressed, seemingly, with the purpose of standing out in mind.. But she stood out in the completely wrong way..

Her messy black hair went down to just above her hips.. It had a red streak just above the right eye, Blake could tell from the fresh sent of chemicals that neither were her natural colour, and that they were applied recently.

Most of the time her eyes were covered by those weird orange shades, which almost looked sharp enough to be a weapon themselves, however in passing her on her way to the auditorium Blake had gotten a glance at her eyes.. She had a scar above her right eye, which made the red streak seem like it was meant to be a last ditch effort in drawing attention away from her eyes... Not that she could blame her for not wanting people to look at them... Blake had heard of weirdly coloured eyes before.. Any colour you could imagine was in someones eyes, everything from purple to silver... But these eyes... The colour almost seemed... Wrong? Like just a look would curse you... She had to focus on the scar to make sure she wasn't looking at her eyes

Her clothes were just as hastly put on as her hair was styled... She wore a red unzipped hoodie over a black and blue shirt with loads of gang related symbols on it. Her black jeans were old and the colour was faded, as were her nike's... She had some accessories.. As weird as they were... She had multiple rings on each of her fingers and a golden necklace... They were plastic...

Everything about this girl screamed "lazy" and Blake had immediately become determined... To never speak to her... And thus, Blake made her way to her destination... Unlike most people here... Blake needed to learn and leave as quick as she could... She would exel in all her classes and change everything...

* * *

ruby could feel it... when blake walked by she saw her eyes... and she feared them...

"what a nerd lmao!" ooohhh~ the big spooky eye ghost chose another target "lame as fuck" ruby hid them intentionally... because peole keep calling them cursed or something smh

ruby ignored Blake and instead focused on the current problem.. "ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?" snow bitch and her non stop bitching

"we're gonna be fuckin late at this rate you know?" it seems that Weiss was the only one paying attention

"Huh?" as she immediately went from angry to scared... ish "ARGH! I'm going to miss the headmasters speech because of you!" she was pissed

"then don't be late?" it seemed like the obvious thing to do... "hey wait! I have an idea!" ruby yelled at Weiss as she started running away

"Then keep it to yourself!" Weiss yelled back at ruby

"my genius should be shared with the world though!" ruby yelled back as she chased after Weiss

"Then tell someone who cares!" Weiss tried her best to escape the psycho that wouldn't leave her alone... But unfortunately

"but it's a reeeeaaaalllyyy good idea!" ruby was gaining on her

"Stop chasing me!" Weiss could see the entrance to the auditorium

"but that's my idea!" just before they arrived the door closed

and just as the god of ineptitude decided... They crashed into the closed door "Eek" Weiss squeaked when she hit the door

"boof" ruby groaned as she smashed into Weiss "normally i'd love being this close to a girl... but right now i'm-"

Ruby was cut off as Weiss yelled and pushed her whole weight into her "CAN YOU SHUT UP"

ruby hit the ground... and stayed there...

"..." Weiss looked on at ruby's unmoving body, worry growing by the second "um..." Weiss examined her... To find no breathing... There ruby lay, sprawled out on the ground... Not knowing what to do Weiss ran away and tried her best to ignore what may have just happened...

When Weiss had fully left, Ruby... tried her best to not laugh... then Weiss came back... Weiss clamped her fingers on Ruby's nose and lifted her head up... and Ruby couldn't contain herself "gufuffuufuf" she was unable to hold back her laughter... and she did the only thing she could think of to save the situation... ".. so does this count as a date?"

Unfortunately Weiss was unable to contain herself

* * *

Jaune had arrived at the place Ruby told him to go

"What'd you know... She knew the way.." as it turns out, Ruby had given him the correct directions... He had to check the room and read the sign thing before he was sure... Jaune leaned against the door for a bit before he accidently bumped the door stop with his foot... "Whoops!"

*Crash*

After a moment of contemplating what he'd just done... And worrying about the repercussions, the door opened... "Hey! Uh.. Are you okay?" It was that girl who was yelling at Ruby... She was silent

"..." The girl went back outside again... Jaune was worried about what might have happened... Until he heard laughing outside... Then there was silence... Then there was yelling

"ow ow ow ow" And Ruby was literally dragged in by the ear by the white haired girl "please sir it was just a prank!"

Somehow... Jaune felt like it was deserved

* * *

Well that's all i got for now... I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! They'll get longer s we go further along the story

Have a wonderful day

Peace peace


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